Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[ah rat]

________________

[Hurricane88]

*_JUST FOR LAUGH_*

*Crazy vs Stupid*

A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to a Mental Hospital.

Just as he was about to leave, he discovered he had a flat tyre. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.
Try as he might, he couldn't fish the bolts out. He was at his wits' end.

Just then one of the patients happened to walk by and asked the driver what happened.

The driver thought what the heck, there was nothing much he could do. So he explained what happened to the patient.

The patient laughed at him and said, "You can't even fix such a simple problem... No wonder you are a truck driver...
Here's what you do. Take one bolt from each of the other three tyres and fix them on this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and get the missing ones replaced. Easy as that."

The driver was stunned. He turned to the patient and asked, "So if you're this smart, then why are you here at the Mental Hospital?"

The patient replied, "Hello... I am here because I'm CRAZY. Not because I'm STUPID!"

[Cobrastrike]

Thanks for the laughter

[Jamieson]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The patient replied, "Hello... I am here because I'm CRAZY. Not because I'm STUPID!"

Very good one hehee

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[malaysiapig]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*_JUST FOR LAUGH_*

*Crazy vs Stupid*



The patient replied, "Hello... I am here because I'm CRAZY. Not because I'm STUPID!"

can't stop laughing at this .....

[malaysiapig]

[Hurricane88]

*15 TYPES OF FEMALE ORGASM*

1. The Optimist Girl Orgasm:
Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes... !!

2. The Pessimist Girl Orgasm:
Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.... !!!

3. The Confused Girl Orgasm:
Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No...... !!!

4. The Traveller Girl Orgasm:
Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming...... !!!

5. The Religious Girl Orgasm:
Oh God, Oh God...... !!!

6. The Greedy Orgasm:
Ahh, More, More, More..... !!

7. The Murderer Orgasm:
Ahh, If you take it out..., I'll kill you...!!!

8. The Scuba Diver Orgasm:
Mmm...Ohhh...Deeper...
Deeper... Go Deeper...... !!!

9. The Rock N Roll Orgasm:
Oh baby oh yeah, oh baby...... !!!

10. The Heavy Metal Orgasm:
Yaa Come on Honey.... Do me hard... Yeahh Baby !!..... come on...... !!!

11. The Mother's Girl Orgasm:
Oh mummy mummy mummyyy...... !!!

12. The North Indian Orgasm:
Nahi... Nahiiii.. Naahiii...... !!!

13. The South Indian Orgasm:
Aaiiyo.., Aaiiyooo Appaa.., Amma..., Aaiyayyooo..!!!

14. The Lorong Haji Taib's Budget Girl's/Retired Mummy Orgasm:
Kasi cepat aaar... Ahh ahh... Ahhh... Ok sudah habiss...

15. Bukit Bintang Amoy girl’s orgasm:
Apa manyak lama hooi..cilaka lu mau bikin anak ka..luu bayak 50 linggit apa ingat beli sayur pasar bolong..tu! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[huyao]

Originally Posted by malaysiapig

can't stop laughing at this .....

Nice share bro!

[Hurricane88]

[warbird]

*The Proposal *

A handsome Sardar was sitting in a posh restaurant at the corner seat.
He asked a waiter to take a bottle of the most expensive Wine to a very attractive young woman sitting alone at a table in the other corner.

The waiter brought an elitist wine bottle & took the it to the woman and said,
"Excuse me, ma'am, this precious bottle of wine is from that gentleman who is seated over there."
And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

The lady stared at the bottle coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was standing nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the Sardar.

The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle,
you need to have a BMW in your garage,
a house in Spain,
a million dollars in ur bank
and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note,
the Sardar decided to compose his own note in return.

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
"Just to let you know, things aren't always what they appear or rather what you want them to be.

I have a Ferrari Enzo, a Range Rover, a Mercedes SLS and a Porsche Panamera in my several garages,

I have beautiful houses in Punjab, Hawaii, Dubai, Canada and Morocco and a 10,000 acre estate in England.

There are over 50 million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.

But...
even for a woman as beautiful as you are, I am not going to cut off three inches.
_Just send the bottle back, please!”

[MatRempit]

Originally Posted by warbird

*The Proposal *

A handsome Sardar was sitting in a posh restaurant at the corner seat.
He asked a waiter to take a bottle of the most expensive Wine to a very attractive young woman sitting alone at a table in the other corner.

The waiter brought an elitist wine bottle & took the it to the woman and said,
"Excuse me, ma'am, this precious bottle of wine is from that gentleman who is seated over there."
And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

The lady stared at the bottle coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was standing nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the Sardar.

The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle,
you need to have a BMW in your garage,
a house in Spain,
a million dollars in ur bank
and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note,
the Sardar decided to compose his own note in return.

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read:
"Just to let you know, things aren't always what they appear or rather what you want them to be.

I have a Ferrari Enzo, a Range Rover, a Mercedes SLS and a Porsche Panamera in my several garages,

I have beautiful houses in Punjab, Hawaii, Dubai, Canada and Morocco and a 10,000 acre estate in England.

There are over 50 million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.

But...
even for a woman as beautiful as you are, I am not going to cut off three inches.
_Just send the bottle back, please!”

Very nicely written