Money Matter Btw BF/GF & Hubby/wife

[leungccsg]

Hi Bro and sis

need your comments.

Does your GF / wife assume the man should pay for everything ?
from everyday makan to dating expenses . and family expenses and big ticket purchase ?

my GF think that man should pay for everything during and after courtship. even after married.

Man's pay is to be used for GF/wife , but GF/wife salary is for her own's keep. reason being for her own security and woman stuff.

can i know what's the general rule between guy and GF/wife?

[Tomb]

Don think there is general rule.
It all depends on how much u love the gal.. or how much the gal loves u..

If the gal loves u, i am pretty sure she will be willingly to share the expenses with you.
If not, i am sure she loves herself so much more and in future, i foresee u will pretty much need to listen and give in to all her needs and demands..

[nayuko]

Originally Posted by leungccsg

my GF think that man should pay for everything during and after courtship. even after married.

I would F&^%$ her... Dump her. I believe SG woman are strong and independent.. the GF that you mentioned is neither.

[Lancerlord75]

When my OC and i first started dating, i layed my cards straight on the table to her.
Told her i am neither rich nor earning big bucks. Just an average joe working to make ends meet.
She understood & also shared with me her views...saying that she believes in equality.
So right now, after we are married, we almost split everything half half.

So bro, unless you make it clear to your GF/wife about how you feel....or can afford it.....u won't be happy in this relationship as it will cause a strain. Except unless you are earning super big bucks.....then i rest my case.
Cheers!

[funseCker]

Its an issue for me too.. how do bros tell their dates to split the cost of dinner and other entertainment? Some friends would say.. just dont pay for her. So should I just put my share of the tab on the table? Not that nice right?

Anyway, most gals I dated may initially agree gals should share with the guys.. blah blah blah. Then after a while, they naturally expect you to pay. Sigh. Nice to them, they take advantage.. not nice to them, they say you dont care.

[BiRd13]

I think expenses wise such as movies and dining, its fine for guy to pay...
For my OC, usually food I will pay... Movies wise... If she book online, then she will pay... and maybe those popcorns or drinks I will pay... and vice versa...

For stuff she's buying, she will pay her own... (ie: cosmetics, clothings)

[naturegreen]

Basically what I think is, as most bros here say. There is no such thing as free fuck in this world. So I remembered seeing 1 bro's signature stating FOC = Fuck on Credit.

In general, for local girls, not all think that guys must pay though there are some who thinks this way. If they are such girls, I would suggest you dump them as soon as possible. Think of the long term. It takes 2 hands to clap to make a relationship work and not just 1 party who is always giving while the other keeps receiving.

As for me, I don't mind paying provided they don't take me for granted. Once or twice is ok after which, she must put on her energizer batteries and be auto. If their batteries are weak and think I am a walking ATM, then I'll just have to bid them byebye and move on with life. Remember, give and take is important in a relationship.

What I think in general - most Malaysian girls I know have this habit that guys must pay for them when going out with them. Well that's my experience.

[For_fun]

Originally Posted by leungccsg

Hi Bro and sis

need your comments.

Does your GF / wife assume the man should pay for everything ?
from everyday makan to dating expenses . and family expenses and big ticket purchase ?

my GF think that man should pay for everything during and after courtship. even after married.

Man's pay is to be used for GF/wife , but GF/wife salary is for her own's keep. reason being for her own security and woman stuff.

can i know what's the general rule between guy and GF/wife?

Interesting question.

After my last Fxx session with my PRC gf, she complained that I have not been treating her "right", like her PRC bf. When I probed deeper, she said I have not been paying for everything she needs - her hp bill, shopping.

I "fxxx-ed" her good and proper - I said that PRCs treat their gf like that. I am not PRC. In Singapore, it is an easy give-and-take situation. I am no ATM!!

[secreta]

well i think most guys when first dating will pay the "bigger share" of dates but not everything. After marriage, each party should contribute proportionately based on income for "common expenses". These are some general "guidelines". but after marriage should give and take. I was out of job for a year and my wife said that she would take care of everything. the whole year never complain. this is marriage

[big wood]

I think during courtship guys pay is quite alright as long is not too much but if planning to get marry better play the cards right if not if anything happen will has a big hole to fill.

[pro.d.igy]

There is never such a thing called "paying for bigger things" or "paying if I am rich" or " paying most of the time is alright". All these in my opinion are utter rubbish.

If your GF takes you as a ATM machine, and expects you to pay most of the time, sometime, all the time, whatever time, you can be sure that this relationship will not last long. Time to ask yourself if she really loves you, or just loves the times spent with you.

If you thinks that paying for most of the time, sometime, all the time, whatever time, you can be sure that you will spoil a relationship which may be going well between you and your GF.

When dealing with the SG girl, you have to show your alpha-male side. Push the concept to them that you are not a money tree, shove it down their throat, and make them follow your lead.

Of course, when it comes to springing surprises, that's fine. Which human being doesn't like good surprises, be it male or female?

[AAdam]

"Money" is a very sensitive topics in a relationship.
My belief is that it depends on which stage are you in a relationship, broadly, it can be split into the dating phase & the marriage phase.
During the dating phase, like what some bros mentioned, it is fine to pay for the Dating expenses. Like movies, meals, drinks & the occasional gift that you bought out of goodwill or special occasion. It is because I believe that most of your dates are earning an oncome, so they are in their right frame of mind to know that they themselves should pay for their own neccsary expenses, like handphone bills, make-up, clothing etc etc. But the issue here will be which part of the world does your date come from? Personally from my experience, most PRC gals have the assumption that once you are her lover or boyfriend, you MUST provide for them in every aspect of their lives...In other words, ALL their expenses MUST be bore by you. To a certain extent, even their extended families are also under your care....Whether you buy their argument or not, it is to each his own.
I am a strong believer that after marriage, ALL income & expenses should be traeted as a Whole, as a family. There is no such thing as this is mine or that is yours. Everything is OURS. If not, what for get married?
Just my humble view.

[damienadam]

there is no such rule that man should pay for everything be it during courtship or married. there should be a mutual understanding when comes to spending power. sometimes i ask my oc to pay for my food

[leungccsg]

Yup Bro, you are right. My GF is a malaysian.

she expects me to pay for everything. whenever she goes out with me , either she never bring out her wallet , or she will just assume that i should pay . she just play dumb when the bill comes.

even when she suggest going on a holiday , she would assume that everything will be paid forth including expenses and tour package etc. that really pissed me off until the stage i never want to go for any tour at all ( i usually go holiday min 2 times a year ).

when she talk abt getting married she also assume everything must be from the man's pocket. i was out of job for a while , even during that period , she also no auto until one fine day , i blasted out abt her being the most stingy GF i ever had. she changed for a while ( 2-3 days ) then back to her old self again.

when i ask to open joint acct to save part of our income , she also very reluctant. when we go house viewing , i thought we would buy a house together. little did i realised that she wants a new house for us , but not willing to pay for it as joint name. she just wanted a house by her own an rent out .

i was damp unhappy though i still think that she is serious abt this relationship.Just that she is just overly stingy and protective on her own cash.

how to manage this kind of situtation >

[d4eth]

hey bro i think this kinda of situition even before marriage already like this....

i think better move on la....