Shld i still believe him again?

missy24 · #1 05-09-2009, 02:50 AM

I dont know if i shld post this qns here...alot of guys may be killing mi....i have been with my bf for more than a yr .... recently early 2009 , i found out that he come to this forum and of coz i guess he aso go for massages with extra services....i mean if he did it before i was with him , i would understand, but he still goes for it after i am with him. it was until recently i found out then he say he will not do it again.... but of coz i dunno if i can trust him again..... to me, i feel a leopard will nvr change its spots....somehow he may be using other nick to log in , n i wun be able to find out.... can u tell mi if he can be trusted again? i kind of losing slp over this....

sammyboyfor · #2 05-09-2009, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy24

can u tell mi if he can be trusted again? i kind of losing slp over this....

As long as you're good to him and satisfy his needs, he won't ever log on to this forum again.

PS : SMS spk is not wlcm in dis forum. Please communicate in proper English and spell words that are acceptable to a standard US or British English spell checker.

vin69m · #3 05-09-2009, 03:59 AM

Agree wif BRO here, If u can give him no other ladies in SBF can, I dont think he will b online again. 2 b frank wif U alot of guys r here just wan satisfaction. I personally know a lot of green horns got stuck here bcause their wife or GF could not do a better job. Tats also goes wif ladies who r seeking man outside thier relationship.

missy24 · #4 05-09-2009, 04:09 AM

well even if can satisfy a guy needs,they may also want to find others outside...anyway i can't say much, just in case he used another nick to log in. all he say is i am sorry and i will not do it again. sometimes when i approach this topic, he will say , so how? sometimes i feel he just playing ard. i just don't want to get hurt again. thanks for ur advice.

Xgenre · #5 05-09-2009, 09:24 AM

Why don't you upgrade your 'skills' and learnt what other ladies do to attract men? If he can get what he gets outside from you, then he has less reason to go out and find girls. A lot of decent girls just like in bed and open legs, like a barbie doll.

leecs · #6 05-09-2009, 11:11 AM

I think its not about the sex. He just wants to taste other 'vege'...

Care for him. Make him feel loved, but don't 'tie' him down & be possessive.. He can't "breathe".

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #7 05-09-2009, 11:14 AM

Missy24, learn how to blow his mind in bed. There are so many articles available devoted to sex from kissing to oral, from tantra to fetishism. Identify what interests him, and share your findings with your BF and this thread as it progress. We might be able to learn a few new tricks too.

Chinapuss · #8 05-09-2009, 12:10 PM

Woman alwayz said tat her man never gives much attention needed for her but de truth is tat she, herself is de major factor tat make her man sways away to find another...any relationship is bound to destruction if the trust is lost....only you can search within urself and answer to whether you should still beleive in him again

ninewins · #9 05-09-2009, 12:28 PM

Why should you bother so much, just let it flow naturally. I'm sure if your relationship is strong enuff and with ample sexual activities among yourselves there are reason for him to engage commercial sex.

Medusa · #10 05-09-2009, 02:22 PM

sis...i understand that to trust someone who broke your trust in him again isnt easy...but it can be done =)

in short..what i'm trying to say is...if you plan to forgive and start everything again...let the thing past completely...forgiving someone is always a yes or a no...and i'm sure you have the answer in your heart =)

harping or suspecting on the problem will just only make ur life more miserable...instead of having to keep an eye on him like a hawk or having to role play as sherlock hommes...i think all these are too tiring....because i always believe...what is meant to happen will happen...if he really want to do it again...he will.

just ask yourself...do you want to live life on suspicious basis or you want to welcome life in an open arms...life is made up of all kinds of decisions isnt it

regarding abt spicing up ur sex life...in my personal opinion...it doesn't really helps alot bcos even if a man had an AV kind of girlfriend in their life...the tendency of them wanting to taste other women still exist...but on the other hand...it does help to a certain extend...depending on how you choose to look at...

try to look at the whole issue from different angle...when something goes wrong in a relationship...both parties have to be responsible...its never a one person fault...

you know what you intend to do...trust your instinct and just go ahead...but remember...everything happens for a reason...

block11 · #11 05-09-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy24

can u tell mi if he can be trusted again? i kind of losing slp over this....

to be honest, i think the answer is no... sometimes in life, we just need accept things and find other ways to deal with them. maybe you can close 1 eye and focus on his positive attributes? maybe you can get him to open up and understand his needs? maybe you can join him and have more fun together? these are some real life examples of what others have done... so dont keep losing sleep, try something. good luck

xtremsproz · #12 05-09-2009, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy24

can u tell mi if he can be trusted again?

Maybe you can try asking yourself the following question.

Does he care for your family member?

Is he worth for you to spend the rest of your life with him?

Is he a responsible guy?

colins · #13 05-09-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy24

..... to me, i feel a leopard will nvr change its spots....somehow he may be using other nick to log in , n i wun be able to find out.... can u tell mi if he can be trusted again? i kind of losing slp over this....

Ah....one of those trick questions eh? If you have to take poll on whether your guy can be trusted, that means you dun trust him la. If you trust him, anything we say also cannot make you disrespect his 'integrity' right?

Want to trust, go and trust. Dun want to trust or cannot take betrayal, tell him early. Whichever way you decide, be prepared that guys are guys. You will NEVER know what he does behind you unless you lock him out and put him on surveillance 24/7/365. Guys are like that, stifle him, he'll find an outlet. Give him freedom, he'll decide whether to stay with you. The point is, what makes him stay. And the question is definitely not being insecure and fearing the truth.

You'll just getting yourself unhappy if you do that. Like if he treats you coldly, you think he is spending his energy on some other girls. If he treats you well, you think he is trying to covering his guilt. What is the damn point being in a relationship? To suspect? haha...

You're just one of those who like to create a lot of 'what-ifs' to make yourself comfortable. Maybe you have been hurt before. If that is the case, solve your own insecurity first or else you'll never get pass this relationship and feeling happy at the same time.

HCKing · #14 06-09-2009, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy24

I dont know if i shld post this qns here...alot of guys may be killing mi....i have been with my bf for more than a yr .... recently early 2009 , i found out that he come to this forum and of coz i guess he aso go for massages with extra services....i mean if he did it before i was with him , i would understand, but he still goes for it after i am with him. it was until recently i found out then he say he will not do it again.... but of coz i dunno if i can trust him again..... to me, i feel a leopard will nvr change its spots....somehow he may be using other nick to log in , n i wun be able to find out.... can u tell mi if he can be trusted again? i kind of losing slp over this....

well since u r here, take a look at the number of members in this forum and u wont have anything to worry abt cos he is just being normal.

D_Silver · #15 06-09-2009, 01:59 AM

Question is, what do YOU want out of this relationship?

If you want to continue, then you have to trust him. Or at least trust him to use protection when he goes out and play.

Call me a cynic, but for a guy thats ever tried commercial sex, he will always know that there is another "outlet" for him. And all he needs is the smallest of excuse to visit these outlets. Maybe he didnt hit the sales target. Maybe he got overtaken by a Picanto while driving to work. Maybe he ordered meepok but the hawker gave him meekia.

The only way is for him not to go is to have a bigger reason not to visit these girls. Maybe he loves you and dun wanna hurt you again. Maybe his salary is credited into a joint account with you and you know exactly how much he spends. Maybe he knows that if you ever find out he have another affair (paid or freebie) you will leave him without a word.

If you don't wanna continue or if you can't live with all this maybes, end it.