The Awakening

[machoman]

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks
and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes
you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to change or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and
you are not Cinderella and that in the real world
there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that
any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and
in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that
not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...
and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn
the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process
a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people
for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and
you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and
in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and
you begin to accept people as they are and
to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process
a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you,
is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about
how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh,
what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive,
how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living,
who you should sleep with, who you should marry and
what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process
you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and
you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals
of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you
must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything,
it's not your job to save the world
and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility
and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.
How to love, how much to give in love,
when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable
or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love....
and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...
just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or
a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and
agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that
it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that
sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness,
sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only
the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...
and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and taking more time to exercise.
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit
and can create doubt and fear.
So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...
and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction,
discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that
it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great robber baron of all time... FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that
whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right
to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and
not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen
to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.
It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment
must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong
and to building bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about:
a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself
and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling,
to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God
(whatever you believe him/her to be) by your side you take a stand,
you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live
as best as you can.

[machoman]

Life Awakening - 28 Realizations

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your Awakening.

1 You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

2 You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

3 You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

4 You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

5 You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

6 You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

7 You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

8 You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

9 You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

10 You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

11 You learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

12 You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

13 You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

14 You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

15 You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

16 You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

17 You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

18 More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

19 You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

20 You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

21 You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

22 You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

23 You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

24 You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

25 You begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

26 You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

27 You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

28 Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

About the Author: Sonny Carol began writing this piece in 1996 shortly after coming out of a long drawn out and painful break-up. I was a total mess. My life was in shambles and as I tried to make some sense of what had happened, and why, I began to write The Awakening. This piece is a compilation of all the lessons I learned and the observations I made about myself, about other people and their relationships, and of the wisdom that my most dear friend, Drane Uljaj, has shared with me over countless cups of tea.

[hugs]

its beautiful. i had to stop half way to wipe my tears only to begin crying again when i continue reading.

boss i got no power to up here, can u lend me 5?

[machoman]

Originally Posted by hugs

its beautiful. i had to stop half way to wipe my tears only to begin crying again when i continue reading.

boss i got no power to up here, can u lend me 5?

Glad that you like the contents of the article, sis.

No worries, no need to up my rep pts.

[alan0338]

nice article

[machoman]

Originally Posted by alan0338

nice article

Glad that you like it, bro.

[chatlovers]

Bro machoman,

Wow! So far I have known you only through soccer threads. nice to know your other side... Will be back to read the rest of the phrases here as I am short of time at the moment.

5 Star Rating from me.

[Renn69]

Wonderful article . Many thanks for sharing.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by chatlovers

Bro machoman,

Wow! So far I have known you only through soccer threads. nice to know your other side... Will be back to read the rest of the phrases here as I am short of time at the moment.

5 Star Rating from me.

Thanks for dropping by, bro chatlovers.

"My other side"? Surely, you don't mean my backside, bro?

LOL!!! Just joking, lah!

Thanks for rating the thread.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by Renn69

Wonderful article . Many thanks for sharing.

You are most welcome, bro.

[DAdults]

TS, it is a meaningful piece you have posted. I can only hope people can come to the same revelation as the author of the article without having to go through the same heart breaking experience.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Happiness is created not given!

[machoman]

Originally Posted by DAdults

TS, it is a meaningful piece you have posted. I can only hope people can come to the same revelation as the author of the article without having to go through the same heart breaking experience.

Glad that you found it meaningful, bro.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Happiness is created not given!

Agreed, bro.