Meeting Online Vietnamese

[TadaoKumagai]

I subscribe to VietnamCupid.
Had fair shares of some up and downs....

I am just your ordinary Restaurant Waiter.
I am in my mid 20s.

I can't really sure if it consider my "first relationship" online with Vietnamese women who fly to Singapore to meet me and stay with my place(with elderly in the home).
Well, nothing happen, no night fantasy or dream come true. She sleep in the room with my aunt, I sleep my own room.
She pay rental to my aunt.

So our relationship kinda like just Friend.

Fast forward, I still remain contact with my first vietnamese friend(by the way , she a single mother who get Pregnant and throw away by our Local Brother[Whoever you are, I cursed you if you had a daughter in the future, your daughter also get pregnant and abandon by whoever fathered her)

Now I am communicating with my current Vietnamese lady. Who just want to marry anyone to come Singapore to work.
I shall skip boring conversation and lead to main point....

Due to my low salary, she say, If I don't mind her, she willing to work in the KTV for 2 year, during this 2 year, I shall not be like checking on her phone or whatever due to "KTV rules and regulation or whatever culture there is"

Well she claim that she a Virgin(only God know the Truth), which I dont really care.
Technically, she just estimate, if she work KTV , she might be able to earn at least 3k per month, which is twice my amount about 1.5-1.6k only.... hahaha
Technically, due to my low salary, we agreed that if we are okay with each other, she okay with sharing the rent about 700SGD per month or so?

I am checking online for any available room for rent at about that 400-700 price , in the scenario that we decided to get marry....

I will be flying to Vietnam to meet her Family and talk more about it.

What we confirm now is....
We will meet first, if we are okay with each other, we shall discuss more

Some of you might say that , 20s range is still early for Marriage or any other stuff, should focus on career or building money first...
But , I don't really see hope in getting a better job due to my "N-Level" cert only....
My siblings and cousins also getting married one by one... In the November, my own younger sister also getting married.... To certain extent, there "some hidden pressure" for me to find a girl to get marry as well.

My salary level, local Singapore definitely will not accept it. I give up on local Singaporean lady... So my only alternative is SEA. Especially Vietnam , since my first online "Psuedo relationship" is with a Vietnamese, so it carry some important place in my heart....

So right now all I can think is.... November meet first, meet her family, then we will had some serious talk about future.
Good things about the current situation , she okay with the fact that we can just sign paper to legalise the Marriage, as for Wedding, when we had the finances for it, then I must give her a Wedding Proposal with our future Children(who know how long it take) ...

Basically this just suit my style. I always wanted to find a Women who are willing to just ROM without any fanciful or grand wedding with tables invited to god know who the fuck they are Guest.
What I always want is , just a private dinner at some Buffet(maybe just rent for a 1 whole day) for Invited Guests only which basically just a casual way of informing, I am already Married.

Since there a Women who willing to just get ROM without any Wedding or trouble, it totally my style. YOLO!

[zendra]

I'm lost bro. What you or her has suggested, is it a fake marriage or a real one? I am rather inclined to disbelieve her when she says that she'll work in a KTV for just 2 years. If the money and times are good, who is to say that those 2 years will not turn into more? Money is not the root of all evil. Greed is.

[TadaoKumagai]

What we confirm is...
Definitely not a Fake Marriage, I dont wanna get myself arrested for whatever Marriage SCAM or anything.
In the first place, I have no money, she have no money. Both of us have no money to scam each other.... LOL.

Regarding KTV part, that her suggestion, which I don't really concern with it.
Just leave it to fate and trust, definitely there is Greed , Human bound to have Greed, nothing can be done about it.

For the time being, it more of a seek Marriage as a solution to fight for a better life, which there totally nothing wrong for that. If man can find a higher salary job, (who the hell want to stay at a low salary Job) women definitely want to find a Man to had a better life.

Personally, I am not a Saint myself, I do visit Geylang once a while, Freelance Wechat etc... So , I have no rights to control or determine her way of living. As long as she know what she doing and she promise that, every night she will come back home.

As for the Factor regarding if she will cheat or left me for a rich guy, we did talk about it, for the time being is positive side, as she say as long as We can endure through 2 year without too dramatic (trust issues, violence, intense jealous,stalkers etc...) .... She honesty say she cannot guarantee anything, after all for the time being, we don't understand each other real personality....
So we need to really meet first to have any concrete decision.


Sum it up:
It more like a Arranged Marriage with its own pros and cons.

If it work, it will be a real life dramatic drama plot, which maybe in the future I will write a book out of it, hahaha...
Something along the line with How an Ordinary Man manage to marry a Pretty Wife with financial earning capability strong than the Man.

If our Local Lady have such person exist, I definitely will choose our local lady... but sadly... such lady pretty much extinct.

Which Singaporean lady willing to marry down or marry a Guy with just common Job and low salary?
Which Singaporean lady willing to suffer hardship together with his Man , with prior condition that the Man is Fat belly(over 100kg), below average-average appearance and just had a monthly 1500-1600+ salary?

If such Local lady exist, please msg me.

[TadaoKumagai]

Money/Greed is one of the Factor that lead to Divorce, Cheat, Scandal etc...
But what really decide it is mainly our action and having too much restriction.

But there a prefixed condition for it, if the Guy already aware that the Girl is working in KTV and okay with it. -It up to mutual trust situation-

Definitely there will be the factor, if she will sleep with other man for money or whatever, but don't forget the law of attraction and your own action.

If you trust your women/man in whatever she/he doing even if you know she/he is meeting with his/her ex-relationship, normal people with consciousness will feel bad about it and majority will know the boundary limits...

However if you distrust your Man/Woman, keep on checking on her/his activities, check her/his phone history etc, be a stalker follow her/his to work or stalk her/him meet other man/women. Lack of Trust will lead to Lack of Security, eventually even if the Woman/Man really do nothing wrong, but because of insecurity, one day she/he will still leave your side. -The stronger the force you use to suppress it, the higher the rebound-

[Tai_zi21]

U should really go think deep and hard about it...

First thing what do u gain in this? From ur post u only have gain a Wife just in name... and? Prob some free fuck? U say this is not a scam marriage? But u allow her to go work ktv? And what if something happen to u along the way? All your cpf will goes to her? And what did u left ur family with?

You Wan go find gal marry? Go to Vietnam and tour around.. nowadays air tickets to Vietnam very cheap only

I not expert myself but from ur post I only see all cons and no gain to u at all

Cheers

[TadaoKumagai]

What I gain? Pretty much nothing as you mention...
But at least, I will have a pretty wife which satisfied my "Fantasy" bah. About 7/10 bah
Just a superficial gain with some night duty as Wife bah.....

As mention earlier, it more toward a "Arranged Marriage" or "Contract Marriage" bah. At least not like the type that will get arrested for Fraud Marriage with the Lady pay the Man for Marriage. Pretty much it not the case for us.

Why would I forbid her working KTV ? I am not a Saint, I did some chionging in Vietnam/Thailand/Malaysia .... so I myself cannot expect my future partner to be Holy or Stainless, it pure bullshit to expect Wife to be Virgin or obedient like Maid , serve you like King...

As for my Family? I don't live with them. They have their own life. So why the hell would I need to left or give them anything?

As for Lifestyle after Marriage(If we okay with each other) , I just need to give about 65% of my salary to her. I don't have any savings, which I openly and frankly tell her, I am literally a Man with Nothing. No Good Job, No Good Education, No Money, No House....
All I have is just work hard in my current Job... I been working as Waiter since NS, this is my first Job.
All I need to do is just walk till the end of F&B industry...
Other people might take 2-3 year to become Supervisor, then I just need more effort and hardwork, more time , 5-7 year to become Supervisor, maybe 10-15 year down the road, had the experience enough to be Assistant Manager or even Restaurant Manager???

I believe in 1 motto , Hardwork and Effort will never Betray, it might take longer time to show result.

Anyway, I honesty tell my Vietnam Girl.
The me right now, literally have nothing, to be exact in other eye, I might appear as useless, garbage or whatever.
But if she still willing to choose me, give me opportunity, when I get promoted or I manage to become Successful (Nobody can say for sure about the Future) , then what I have will all belong to her.


Anyway, I did tell her, if we really serious want to get Married , we give each other 5 year time. This 5 year salary, beside essential expenses and occasional playing game expenses(game top-up or buy new Steam game), all the Financial , I let her control. I know I will spent a lot and barely save anything...... So I just have to surrender my Financial Freedom to her... At the same time, she will try KTV industry for 2 year, (she believe with her appearance, at least can earn 3k per month)

Well she did have her own plan , but only will tell me when we meet face to face, all I know is just brief information of her plan.....
She did say, I cannot go crazy when man(client) call her, message her, touch her a bit(Man go KTV , I know cannot avoid touching here and there) , but she did honesty tell me, she will not sleep with other man.

So I just have to trust her to be the Minority few % who just go there to entertain man, might have kisses or etc, but no sex lor.

I don't really care how other people see me or even Judge me if they know my wife working KTV(In the scenario , we decide to get Married)
I did inform my Siblings that if things go well, I might get Married next year. But, there wont be any Wedding , we will just have dinner.

[TadaoKumagai]

You can call me a Weirdo bah.
Since my first Vietnam Friend who I hope can become my GF in the past....
But due to her situation where she get Pregnant and get abandon , she afraid or had the phobia of getting involve in another relationship.

She frankly tell me , she don't want to cheat me, don't want to implicate me, don't want me to had bad impression of her as well as Vietnamese.

To be exact, she the type that is a Good Girl but due to Child-raising and Family debt issues, she have no choice but to follow the typical Vietnam women route... KTV, Nightlife scene. Appearance wise 7/10.
Even more dramatic is when I go Vietnam find her to bring me travel, to save money, she suggest live same room as her hotel. Since most of the time, she will be working at KTV/Disco and only comeback about morning time. So I might as well just live with her during my holiday in Vietnam...

It might be seem unbelievable to you all, but we did live together in the same room, sleep on the same bed, but nothing happen. She never wear bra, just those typical sexy nightlife dress. Even when she bring me go out eat, still wearing the same sexy dress. Where you can really see her side breast... Basically that the level of trust she had in me, not to touch her or "rape her" at night sleeping halfway. Got 1 time, she was bathing, I just come back outside exploring, lying on the bed to rest, she come out naked , both of us was shock, and there it goes the awkward silence, we just pretend nothing happen , and we did literally sleep together on the bed together. (No Fantasy or any form of intimacy sexual act happen)

So to me, I don't see Lady working in KTV as Bad Girl or anything, they are just as normal as any other Girl working in other industry.
Just that KTV earn more money, and earn faster money compare to salary job.

[TadaoKumagai]

As for my current Vietnam Girl. I know her from Vietnamcupid, which I even saw her listed her profile in Singapore Marriage Agency.
I did frequent check and had the idea of engaging Marriage Agency to help me.
But since I already know her , we can skip the Agent Fees as well as Marriage fees and other.

So technically , she did show me that a lot people had talk to her regarding Marriage issues, out of a few of those man. She decide to choose me to meet her and her parents. Because through the conversation(with help of Google translation, she herself also know some English and Chinese, basically had not much problem with language issues).
Through the way I answer her, response her, she feel that I am really sincere about her. She did worry about the fact that if she marry to a wrong guy, even if the guy is rich, she scare the guy might just want to marriage for baby only. She admit that she love money, but not to the extent of marry rich guy without any consideration.

[larue]

You don't have nothing to them, you have Singapore passport. Very powerful thing.

You are getting played and being told what you want to hear.

You sound like you have given up on building a better life, but you are only in your mid-20s. You have plenty of time to turn your life around.

[lazyguy]

Hope this not a troll or csb.

Think u r really quite young and have no idea what u will be going through. Go study and upgrade urself.

Don't get yourself into this trouble.

I have been in chionging ktv for more then 10 years. I see all type of gals but in the end their main motive is $$$. U think she will be with u when she get her PR in Singapore?

[cleyeo]

Bro,

No one cheats no one, but I would say that she take this opportunity to get a long term pass to stay in Sing.

She said NO CHECKING on her phone and it is a ktv rules. I dont agree totally. I believe many bros here visited ktv. I am one of them, years ago I visited ktv so often. I even experience a raid by police at RS KTV near Kitchener road. There was one Viet girl very close to me. Lonnnggg time ago. Last time, there was a pub near Joo Chiat, it is called Jazzy51. I knew this girl there and visited so often. She was so close to me, and asked me to marry her. She said she did not mind to be a second wife or mistress. She let me see her phone freely. She said, she has no secret and no other man so she let me check her phone. The problem is, all contacts were written in Viet language. hehehehehhehe.

the point I m trying to bring it up to you is,, there is no such rule .

[TadaoKumagai]

Give up in Singapore?

Yeah basically , I hate study, so I dont like advise on asking learn more, study more, upgrade yourself more etc.... I totally hate touching Academic Book.

Who don't want a Better Job? But there always criteria for it, minimum Diploma Holder or some specialise Diploma. Those kind of things are something too far from me....

Basically, I don't see any hope for myself in Singapore.....

I do admit Singapore Passport is powerful... But that only for the time being. Singapore size and market is very limited.... In the distant future, China Passport will be the most powerful, but sadly as a lot people are aware of , same as our Local Lady, they also have very high standard which basically no hope for a guy like me.....

So the only solution for me is to seek alternative at our neighbour who are still developing and had bigger market and more opportunity...

As for my Vietname Lady taking advantage of me because of my special privilege as Singaporean. Go ahead, gladly take it. Because I am totally aware of it, but as I mention before, there nothing much for me to lose.

I get a Pretty Wife, if I treat her really good beside money factor, (I dont have money, so for brother out there think there any money transaction here, not gonna happen) while she just want a better opportunity ....

Well , regarding the No checking phone rules or whatever culture it is.... I don't really care if it legit or not. But what I gotta admit is, in the same situation , reverse role... will I like it if the Wife want to check my Phone regardless what I doing??? I also hate that. My phone history have various conversation with FL both local and oversea....

So basically, I am kind of that kind, since I dont like it myself to get monitor, I understand the feeling of it, so even if I know and aware of it, I just trust in Human nature itself... or rather... Human conscioussness bah...If I dont monitor her, at least it bring some sense of security and trust to her.....
I believe there many factors that can make it work....

[TadaoKumagai]

Basically, I have my own Imagination Wedding Lifestyle... I dont care you all laugh at me or whatever.

I always want to have a Women/Wife who can go through with me thick and thin, overcome all obstacle together.
At the same time, I am aware of myself, being obesity over 100 kg, I judge myself 4/10 appearance, I still desire for a 7/10 - 8/10 partner in life... It just like a Frog craving for Swan meat.
Let be real, it impossible for my type of guy to be able to get the heart of 7/10 local girl or PRC girl ... So if I can get a 7/10 of other nationality which in poverty, what wrong of it?

I get a 7/10 lady, all I have is a Singapore Passport only, (which doesn't bring any actual benefits in living in Singapore) , if she attract or want to take advantage of me because of Singapore Passport, which give her opportunity to be PR, why not?

It a default mentality, or rather, it a open secret, even she never say anything, I am also aware of it. Will my Singapore Passport give me higher salary? Higher living standard, definitely a NO for ME... But for her, it a YES. So to certain extent there a "Hidden Transaction" that nobody speak it out loud...
It something like in-exchange for Singapore Passport, I get a 7/10 Lady. As for how we going to make the Marriage work, definitely it depend on effort and hardwork.

[lazyguy]

Think u are not here to ask for opinion but just to tell us what you want. Don't understand why u want to tell us?? Haha.

Go ahead with what you want. Yolo.

Think Bros here can stop giving comments or opinions.

[TadaoKumagai]

Originally Posted by funboi

You 1.6k is gross or net after CPF? You got CPF? Lets say its net pay. Less $350 rental sharing cost you left with about $1250.



Your greed is lust for a girl to sleep with you. Her greed is for a better life and make better money.

Regarding CPF issues, I have it . After all I am a Full-time Waiter , I already work for almost 4 year, so I believe there about 10-20k in it or more....

The 1.5-1.6k salary I mention is after CPF deduction/contribution.

Yeah, there nothing wrong regarding the Greed that you mention, I want a pretty wife, she want a better life.
I did mention with her, and opening talk to her, we give ourself 5 year, work and save the money then buy house and do Business in Vietnam. At-least the opportunity in Vietnam is way higher than Singapore.....
With my salary, I am just a below average living-hood in Singapore, with the currency exchange rate benefit, I am somewhere in the mid-tier in Vietnam... So why not make use of Singapore Dollar and invest in Vietnam when my Wife(if we marry each other) is a Vietnamese nationality.
We will have a better lifestyle living in Vietnam compare to Singapore...

As for what Business we will do in Vietnam, I let her decide, after all I willing to let the wife to handle financial power.